took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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