God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
