I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
