please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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