Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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