I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
