How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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