you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
