Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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