need another drink. this is the easiest way
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
