I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
