my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize