i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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