Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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