He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
