I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize