My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
