hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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