Im at strip club and am horny
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
