you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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