maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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