do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
