I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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