Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
