he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
