Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you win again, gameday.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
