I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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