Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
