im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
