We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize