I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
