last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
