you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
