remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize