What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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