Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
