There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize