After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
