Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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