I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize