even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
