I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
