I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
