I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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