Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
