Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
