The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
