Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The air was thick with penises
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
