wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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