clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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