Where is the hickey?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
