Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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