oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
