New low: just hacked my moms facebook
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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