Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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