Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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