Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
