Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
