I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize