Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
