Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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