Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
