forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
