Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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