he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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