just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize