I'm so fucking centered right now
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
